Mindfulsexting: The way to enjoy your online sexual encounters to the fullest

Written by: Anel Martínez



Time to read 3 min

Who says mindful sex has to be limited to in-person encounters? In today’s digital age, we’re rewriting the rules of intimacy. Long-distance couples, take note! Thanks to technology, we can create deep, passionate connections even when we’re miles apart.

Imagine this: phone calls, video chats, and texts become your canvas for mindfulsexting. It’s essentially a mindful sexual encounter, but facilitated through technology. These screens aren’t obstacles; they’re gateways to a unique form of connection. With technology, we can openly discuss our desires, relish every moment, and engage our senses. It’s as if we’re sharing the same space, even when we’re physically apart.

These screens aren’t obstacles; they’re gateways to a unique form of connection.

How can this be done? Let me guide you through each step.

Practicing mindfulness during intimate moments through phone or video calls can be a unique and rewarding experience, allowing couples to connect even when physically apart. Here’s how to engage in mindfulsexting:

  1. Set the Mood: Just like in person, create a comfortable and relaxing environment. Choose a clean, well-lit space with minimal distractions. This involves choosing a distraction-free space, ensuring privacy, being physically comfortable, and considering aesthetics and sensory elements to enhance the experience. 

  2. Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Discuss your desires, boundaries, and what you both feel comfortable with during the virtual encounter. 

  3. Video Quality: Ensure a stable and clear video connection. A blurry or pixelated image can be distracting.

  4. Sound Quality: Good audio is essential. Use headphones if needed to improve the quality of your partner’s voice and the sounds of the encounter.

  5. Non-Judgment: Let go of self-criticism and concerns about your appearance or performance. Focus on the emotional and physical connection.

  6. Eye Contact: Maintain eye contact through the camera to enhance the feeling of connection. Eye contact during virtual intimacy is surprisingly intimate and enhances the feeling of connection. When you gaze directly into your partner’s eyes through the camera, it creates a powerful sense of being present with each other, even though you are physically apart. This form of visual connection can intensify the emotional and sensual aspects of your virtual encounter, making it a more meaningful and fulfilling experience.

  7. Slow Down: Slowing down during virtual intimacy is a key element in enhancing the experience. Just as in physical intimacy, rushing through the encounter can diminish its quality. Instead, take the time to savor each moment and explore the connection with your partner. By slowing down, you can fully engage in the experience, focusing on the sensations, emotions, and connection that are unfolding. This deliberate pace allows you to build anticipation, heighten desire, and create a more fulfilling and intimate virtual encounter. It’s about embracing the journey and cherishing each moment together, even when you are separated by screens.

  8. Imagination: Engage your imagination to connect on a mental and emotional level. This can include sharing fantasies or discussing shared experiences. This can involve various elements:

  • Fantasies: Sharing fantasies or desires can be an exciting way to stimulate the imagination. By describing your deepest desires and listening to your partner’s, you can create a shared mental space where both of you feel intimately connected.

  • Role-Playing: Virtual role-playing can be a fun and imaginative way to explore different scenarios and personas. This can add a playful and adventurous element to your virtual encounters.

  • Shared Experiences: Reflecting on shared experiences, memories, or future plans can deepen your emotional connection. Discussing moments you’ve spent together or envisioning future adventures can bring you closer, even from a distance.

  • Emotional Connection: Engage in deep conversations about your feelings, aspirations, and thoughts. Connecting on an emotional level can be just as satisfying as physical intimacy and can strengthen your bond.

  1. Aftercare: After your virtual encounter, take a moment to connect emotionally. Share your thoughts and feelings about the experience.

Remember that consent and comfort are paramount, and the partners should feel safe and respected during the virtual encounter. Mindful intimacy through technology can help maintain emotional and physical connection when physical presence is not possible.

Bonus Insight: Exploring the world of connected sex toys can elevate the art of mindfulsexting, even when you and your partner are physically separated. The magic lies in the fact that certain pleasure devices can be remotely controlled via smartphone apps. This ingenious feature allows you and your partner to take charge of each other’s pleasure inducing gadgets in real time. 

Young woman sexting in bed

Embracing digital intimacy

In this digital era, technology is our secret weapon, allowing us to master the art of mindful intimacy. Whether it’s a steamy video call or a sweet message, the emotional connection is real and intense. It reminds us that love, desire, and closeness can happen anywhere, thanks to the magic of our devices. So, let’s embrace this digital revolution and keep the flames of passion burning, no matter where we are!

Anel Martínez

Author: Anel Martínez  (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)

Sexologist specializing in sex therapy and sex education, mental health and human behavior.