How Can I Make My ‘Very Solo’ Sex Life More Exciting?

Written by: Andrés Suro

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Time to read 4 min

Question: We've moved past the typical period where cold weather and bad conditions kept us at home, and now summer is approaching with not many plans on the horizon. Do you have any advice on how I can make my sex life (as a single person) a bit more interesting over the coming months? 


Answer: We are living in a new era for dating, and meeting people through social media is the norm. Although there are no longer restrictions due to the coronavirus, social media can complicate romantic and intimate life. For many people, going through a period of sexual "drought" means facing the frustration of that drought being out of their control. We want to have sex, our libido is through the roof, but there are obstacles that make it complicated.


Social media, on one hand, offers us the possibility of meeting new people, but it can also generate unrealistic expectations or make interactions feel superficial. Additionally, concerns about personal safety and the authenticity of the people we meet online can add an extra layer of anxiety. It's hard to be present on a date when you worry about things like, "What will they think of me? Do we have mutual contacts?". This is especially common when living in less populated areas.


So many of us stay at home, looking for ways to maintain a satisfying sex life on our own. Fortunately, we live in the age of technology. This gives us various options to improve our solo sex life and stay connected with others virtually. Dating apps, video calls, and other technological resources can be valuable tools as we face the challenges of modern virtual life.


So, without further ado, here are four ways to make your "solo" sex life a bit more interesting.

a man jumping of happiness at the top of a mountain during the sunset

1. Take Your Time When Masturbating by Changing Your Usual Routine


From my professional experience, most men spend a total of five minutes masturbating. We lie in bed, put on some hardcore porn, and masturbate as quickly as possible. This is due to the fact that we have been conditioned to masturbate this way. During puberty, our parents were at home and lurking around every corner, so we couldn't spend an hour in the bathroom every day. Otherwise, they would start to suspect.


However, now you are an adult. So take your time masturbating. Explore different types of erotic stimulation while doing so (not everything is about porn). Try different positions (e.g., on your side, on the couch, in a chair). You can even take yourself to the edge, that is, get to the point of ejaculating and then back off. This practice, known as edging, often leads to more powerful orgasms when you finally climax. These techniques help prolong the masturbatory experience, so instead of feeling like a small appetizer, it becomes a full sexual menu.


But if you're a bit lost when it comes to trying new experiences in your solo intimate life, you can now get our masturbation guide for free. How? Right down below.



2. Explore Your Rear End


If you've never explored your rear parts, now is the time. What better thing do you have to do when you're alone at home with no pressures? 


The prostate is located about 6 or 7 centimeters inside the anus. It is full of sensitive nerve endings, making it very pleasurable when properly stimulated. Men often say they have full-body orgasms when they ejaculate with a dildo inside their anus, as opposed to orgasms that are exclusively genital.


So get a small anal plug, a prostate massager, or some beads, lubricate them, and gently insert them into your butt. It may take time to get used to the sensation of having something inside (it may also take time to learn how to clean it properly).

a man watching is cellphone with headphones on his sofa

3. Read (or Listen to) Erotic Genre


Erotica is one of the least exploited forms of sexual content (if you've never tried reading and masturbating to erotic content, you need to start now). Another option is to download an erotic audio guide, where someone—with a sensual voice—recites the content slowly.


The most common stimuli are visual (i.e., watching porn) when we masturbate. It is a different experience to get aroused without visual stimuli, and it can be exciting to listen to someone whispering things in your ear. Not to mention, you have the opportunity to let your imagination run wild, which can be a lot of fun.

4. Experiment with Video Call Sex


Last but not least, you can have sex via video call, which is truly exciting, although I must say it takes a bit of getting used to. You have to consider angles and lighting, as well as what to say when you're done (before engaging in video call sex, you need to think about where to place the camera, have the materials you will use nearby, and choose the right lights so your partner can see everything you are doing). Is it as fantastic as real sex? No, but for many people, it is a way to get to know each other better. What we can assure you is that it is more exciting than masturbating alone with porn.


This is the most frequent stimulation model among those couples who live their relationship at a distance or those who simply want to experience what intimacy is like behind a screen.


So, whether it's behind a screen, with a video, in the shower, or in bed, get to know yourself in depth and explore the hidden potential your body has to enjoy without needing anyone present. 

a black man doing a videocall on his bed

Andrés Suro

Author: Andrés Suro  (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)


Psychologist specialized in the social area and expert in sexology applied to education.